(Spontaneous insomnia inspiration)

Usually late at night, and for no reason, but thoughts running free. I stay awake thinking to myself, hoping that if I die someone will think of me and pray that I'm alive... I do that a lot though. Wondering whether my death will change anyone's world.

Counting Sheep, But Running Out

It's the quiet night that breaks me. I can't stand the sight of this familiar place. It's the quiet night that breaks me, like a dozen papercuts that only I can trace. Shaking, crying.. Tell me it won't always be this hard. It feels like someone is sitting on my chest. I cant breathe. I am nothing without you, but I don't know who you are. My jaw is clenched tight. You build me up, only to smash my face into the ground. It's like swallowing a hand full of razor blades.. cutting all the way through me from the inside out. I want to scream but my lungs aren't my own. It's the quiet night that breaks me. I can't stand the sight of this familiar place......

A Long Walk Off A Short Pier

We're both just human. Nothing more, but also nothing less.. We never think the last time, IS in fact the last time. We always think there will be more. We are told we always have tomorrow, and we love to put things off until 'later'.. but when is later? ..And what if forever ends now?! Maybe the sky isn't the limit.. Maybe this moment is it.. Maybe there is nothing more. (.. and just in case there is no forever. i will pull you close, now! Letting your scent fill my lungs, holding your hands to my chest and putting my lips to your ear. iloveyou. In this moment i dont care about forever. I dont care about tomorrow. My heart starts and stops with you, and if there is nothing more.. i would smile because in this last moment with you next to me, i would have had everything!)

Bright Lights Always Make Me Think Of Christmas..

Just so you know, there are certain people who were put here to break you. Some completely break you apart and leave you open. While others break you to pieces and scatter the parts. You have not only broken me, you have knocked me down, and pulled apart walls, while simultaneously showing me how to pull myself back together again. Thank You.

Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right..

.. and two lies don't create truth. You hurting me, because I hurt you, doesn't make it better. It won't cure the hurt and pain. It will only drive the knife deeper, creating more pain. I'm sure you'll feel justified in that moment. Stabbing me with the blade that cut you, but after that moment has came and gone. The same burning pain will be there. It's a circle of anger, and it will spread through us like a fungus. Yes, I hurt you. Yes, you hurt me.. but give me the chance to stop the cycle. Give me a chance to not make it worse, but to love regardless of the pain or hurt. I never wanted to hurt you.. I dont want to keep bleeding from this wound. Only allowing enough time to heal before ripping it open again. I'm not asking to forgive and forget, but forgive and remember.. after all of this there is still love! I know this will not be the last mistake either of us make, but to know I will love you no matter what.. Opens the door for us to learn and grow. I just need to know, that after all of this, you will still love me too..

She Flirts To Hurt..

(Making me regret what I did to you is not 'you winning'..
It's everyone still losing)



There is no pain.
Just atoms becoming humans and picnics, lovers and stars. And then something else. And sometimes it feels like if the wind blew too hard, it'd take us all with it. You don't have to close your eyes. There is no pain. Just atoms becoming the blood that pumps through your heart and knot in your throat, the clouds above us and the air inside your lungs. There's nothing to cry about. There is no pain. Just the light from distant suns and flocks of birds. The sensation of time passing. Waves against the sky. Those shudders than run through your body, aren't there. Your heart isn't broken.
There is no pain.

Nothing Set In Stone

I have theories about what it takes to talk to you again.

I have theories about what normal is supposed to feel like.

I have theories about how a heart sounds when broken.

I have theories about how long to make one suffer after a mistake.

I have theories about how to forgive without forgetting.

I have theories about how to love.. and let go.

But, they are just theories.

Afternoon Thoughts

A heart was meant to beat. And air was meant to be breathed, close to your ear. And your skin was meant to remember what mine felt like. And some songs were meant to play on repeat. And the sun was meant to come down. And we were meant to ignore it when it woke up. And days were meant to pass. And nights were meant to follow. And your eyes were meant to cry out whatever pain was left.

And I never meant to hurt you.

But I guess that's what everyone says.

"You have to pick the places you don't walk away from" -Joan Didion

"Predictable doesn't always mean boring. Lust doesn't always mean love. Near doesn't always mean close. New doesn't always mean exciting. Different doesn't always mean better. Far doesn't always mean distant. Knowing everything doesn't make you wise. Knowing the truth doesn't make you superior. Knowing your problem doesn't solve it. Sitting between your past and future doesn't mean you're in the present"