I’m not sure why, but my heart is heavy tonight, and thoughts of my dad have flooded my mind. I always wonder if I was lucky to lose my dad at a young age, and not later on in life. My mind and my heart go back and forth arguing this debate.. and every time I come up with the same answer.
Time is irrelevant.
It doesn’t matter when, I would miss him just the same.
I don’t know if life is greater than death.. but love, is more than either.
Love. IS. More.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Sunday, March 29, 2015
What Are You Afraid Of?
everything.
I'm afraid of not being good enough, of being left, being forgotten. I'm afraid of disappointing. I'm afraid of being lost, I'm afraid that no one will ever love me the way I need to be loved. I'm afraid of myself, of losing control. I'm afraid that I wont be able to fight the urge. I'm afraid I'll cut again. I'm afraid that I let true love walk out of my life without fighting for it. I'm afraid of pushing myself. I'm afraid of change. I'm afraid of being happy. I'm afraid of losing friends and family. I'm afraid to let anyone in. I'm afraid of being alone.
I'm afraid of what will happen if I wasn't afraid.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
TBT post ( Words ... In Vain )
10/21/2007
Words, of love misplaced somewhere between our lips, become so hard to remember with every kiss. Dispite the fact that we say them countless times before and again, they are lost within the deep breaths of disappointment. I sigh a sigh of emptiness, hoping someday we will make it, but in a lifetime of constant disappointment .. I've learned to expect nothing and only hope for the best. Change is inevitable, and with the selfishness of this cold world, I am left open and vulnerable craving the warmth of your smile on my face, and the scent of your skin on my lips. I want you to a degree of almost needing, and almost needing to a point of pain. And still I can't bring myself to find the words I need to say to keep you. Knowing in my heart that the words are never lost or forgotten, fear takes ahold of the mind and those words never see beyond the tip of my own tongue. I pull you close for a kiss, hoping that with the simple act of our lips touching you will know all of what I need to say, but the emptiness felt is far beyond that of a kiss. I've never felt more alone. My heart set on fire, but like the Phoenix from my ashes I shall be reborn. Nothing is in vain, everything happens for a reason and from this I shall grow..
Words, of love misplaced somewhere between our lips, become so hard to remember with every kiss. Dispite the fact that we say them countless times before and again, they are lost within the deep breaths of disappointment. I sigh a sigh of emptiness, hoping someday we will make it, but in a lifetime of constant disappointment .. I've learned to expect nothing and only hope for the best. Change is inevitable, and with the selfishness of this cold world, I am left open and vulnerable craving the warmth of your smile on my face, and the scent of your skin on my lips. I want you to a degree of almost needing, and almost needing to a point of pain. And still I can't bring myself to find the words I need to say to keep you. Knowing in my heart that the words are never lost or forgotten, fear takes ahold of the mind and those words never see beyond the tip of my own tongue. I pull you close for a kiss, hoping that with the simple act of our lips touching you will know all of what I need to say, but the emptiness felt is far beyond that of a kiss. I've never felt more alone. My heart set on fire, but like the Phoenix from my ashes I shall be reborn. Nothing is in vain, everything happens for a reason and from this I shall grow..
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