Remembering is easy. It's the forgetting that's hard

Do you want to know what hurts the most? The seconds in the morning, where you've just woken up, before your eyes are really open. For those mere precious seconds, you forget the reasons why you're unhappy, the reasons you're so broken.. Then it hits you again, like a stab to the heart, and you remember all the reasons you didn't want to wake up. Yeah, that hurts.

Impatiently Waiting

Scratching at the windows and the door, the world could not wait to kill us. They got in so slowly, with distractions and memos, with forgotten dinners and missed calls. NO. The world could not wait to kill us. And I clutched you close, and I swear: I wished on every wish that neither of us would fall. BUT, NO. The world could not wait to kill us. And we died.

I never change, I simply become more myself.

A Ship Made Of Broken Parts Can Still Go Anywhere.. You only fix the things you feel deserve to be fixed. As if you're a special kind of person, A person who doesn't deserve to sort their own life out because of who you are. Like your brokenness is a symptom of being you. "I can let that wait, I don't need to do this, because I don't deserve to have it done. My life is always only ever incomplete." And yet No one deserves The full benefit Of being you More than you

(I wrote this for you)

Aww Lover!

No matter how long it has been.. There are still times when I think of you, and suddenly it gets harder to breathe. (there are some people you will never see again. At least, not in the same way..)

Sisters Don't Need Words:

She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime; your midnight companion. Someone who knows when you are smiling or crying, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defender – a listener, a counselor, and always a best friend. She is your sister. A few days ago I found out that my sister has thyroid cancer. It has traveled to her left and right lymph nodes in her throat, and possibly to the lymph nodes in her chest. The doctor said that thyroid cancer was the best kind of cancer to get. It can be taken care of by simply removing the thyroid.. Well, it’s not that simple. Cancer is cancer, and it is scary. She tries to keep her distance; She tries to stay emotionless, straight faced, but I know she’s scared. We’re all scared, and no matter how far she tries to stay, or how many times she declines my calls or ignores my texts. I feel her worry, her fear. I feel it under my skin, and inside my heart. She is my baby sister. From the time she was born, I have been her second mother. Her protector. Not just for her, but for all of my siblings. I’m the oldest, that’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re the oldest. I have always made her problems my problems. Her battles were my battles. If she was in need, I gave. If she was in trouble, I ran to her aid. That’s what big sisters do. Des is only 25 years old, the mother of two beautiful girls, and one of the strongest women I’ve ever known. I know everything will be okay, but I feel useless. Helpless. I keep thinking to myself, “How do I fix this. How do I make this go away.” I’m a big sister… and I’m afraid that this is the one thing I can’t make go away. I can’t take this pain from her, I can’t make this problem my problem. I can’t fight this battle for her, and it scares me. I love you.