Everyone always wants to know how you can tell when it's true love, and the answer is this: when the pain doesn't fade and the scars don't heal. When the tears threaten to return, so I willfully banish all thoughts from my head and take a few more deep breaths. When I suddenly get dizzy from the panic attack I've just suffered, and I close my eyes, resting my head against the warm leather of my steering wheel. When you realize that loneliness doesn't exist on any single plane of consciousness. It's generally a low throb, barely audible, like the hum of an engine in park, but every so often the demands of the highway call for a burst of acceleration, and the hum becomes a thunderous, elemental roar, and once again you're reminded of what you are running from.
(imissher)
Sometimes I want to scream until my lungs collapse and hopefully the hurt collapses with it , an implosion of anger and sadness . Mostly I just fake a smile and wait for the moment it's real again.
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